You're two ends of a spectrum. However...[Salieri is going to take one of the whiteboard markers, looking up at what the SQUIP has written] What you've written is technically sound, but stilted. It needs more movement, more emotion--
Where is it going and why is it going there? A melody needs a reason. [he's going to step up and alter it slightly, adding in dynamics, moving a few notes, before he steps back, still frowning up at it.]
no subject
[Salieri frowns, thinking]
You're two ends of a spectrum. However...[Salieri is going to take one of the whiteboard markers, looking up at what the SQUIP has written] What you've written is technically sound, but stilted. It needs more movement, more emotion--
Where is it going and why is it going there? A melody needs a reason. [he's going to step up and alter it slightly, adding in dynamics, moving a few notes, before he steps back, still frowning up at it.]
It's better, but it's...still not right.