curtainsdown | the mark of those who cannot be saved

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act 3

the mark of those who cannot be saved

[You remember dying. Maybe the memory is clear and bright and your body still aches from the cause. Maybe it was fast enough that you didn't feel it and don't remember what you went through. But no matter how you went out, that's no excuse for truancy! Which is to say: you are still in the school.

For those executed, you will wake up in your beds. The dormitories look exactly as they did when you first arrived, without any of the changes or personal effects you and your dormmates might have made. The only real difference is that the little cot in Ambassador isn't there.

For those who were victims, you will wake where your body was discovered. All of your injuries are gone, and you feel fine. It's almost like you're still alive - but you remember what happened to you. It couldn't have just been a dream, could it?

The school looks much as you remember it, save perhaps for a few key differences. For one, there's no groundhog murals anywhere. Where things were green on the other side, like banners or paint, you'll find that here they're blood red.

The doors, for the moment, are still locked. Looks like even death couldn't free you.]

Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 | Week 4 | Week 5

(( ooc: Welcome to deadland, everyone! It mostly resembles the school here, and new floors will be revealed after new people die. For example, the second area will unlock after the week 3 dead arrive, and so on. Also, all dead characters will wake up at their actual canonpoint, with all lost memories restored. Have fun being dead! ))

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[ Rina’s quiet for a long time because honestly? She really is trying to concentrate and drive well now. And for someone who only started today she’s doing pretty okay? It’s hard to mess up a straight(?) road with no other cars on it and she’s gotten a feel for it now.

Once the school is a good distance away though she finally speaks again. ]

…Did I go a bit too far back there?

It....wasssss, uhhh.

[Varian clears his throat, adjusting the seatbelt around himself now that it isn't threatening to cut the circulation off to his brain.]

I mean...the SQUIP did give you some pretty good points, if that's what you were after.

[But that's more of a lighthearted take as he leans his head back with a loud exhale.]

And if you wanted to scare me...it worked.

[......]

...but somehow, I don't really feel like we're all that even yet.

[Sure, Rina spooked him and instilled much of the same wild, confused feelings he must have given her that night...but he at least has an explanation for it.

Rina didn't.]

[ Her eyes soften for a moment, still on the road ahead but there’s a teensy bit of remorse in them now. Just a bit. ]

…I suppose we’re not. Not yet anyway.

…But. I feel better.

[ She glances in the back mirror, checking how far they’ve gone from the school now, and catching a bit of the trashed cornfield in the distance. ]

When I first saw the corn and the scarecrow all I felt was fear and anxiety. I felt like I might die again if I went near it. It… was a lot like how I felt when I first saw you again.

[ She looks back to the road ahead. ]

But I didn’t want to keep being like that. Being in constant fear of things. So when I saw the car, I thought that might help.

…And it did. I don’t feel scared of the corn anymore. Or the scarecrow. And more importantly… I don’t feel scared of you.

So I apologize for scaring you but… I think I needed that.

[...ouch. That...hurts. She felt like she might die again, seeing him...

It hurts. Dead or alive, it makes him feel like she reached in and pulled his heart from his chest, yet it's not a feeling that's undeserved either. He can't say he wouldn't have felt the same, if put in her position...having to spend your last moments alive scared and confused?

He ruined her life. And now...neither of them will ever have the chance to live theirs. It's just over, now.

It's a relief, hearing that she's not scared of him anymore, just as much that she isn't afraid of everything else associated with her death. But still...things are still open-ended here. He has to make this right, even if it means Rina won't look at him the same ever again.]

...Rina, I- ...I need to tell you what happened. What I remembered, and...why I was so upset that night.

[ At that she just nods. ]

You do.

[ and now that they’re at a distance where she feels comfortable enough to talk about this without anyone else around she brings the car to a slow stop, turning it off in the middle of the road before turning to properly face him.

No distractions for this. She’s hearing everything from him. ]

That’s why I brought you out here. So you can tell me. And I expect everything.

[ It’s the only way anything is going to be made right. ]

[Varian looks ahead as the car suddenly comes to a stop in the middle of the road, the engine cut so that they're both sitting there in silence. Rina is looking his way now, facing him directly with her full attention.

With another exhale, Varian unbuckles his seatbelt so he can face her more easily too.]

I...yeah.

Rina...I'm different than you think I am. And I'm...different than what I thought I remembered. Things are okay now, but...that doesn't change the fact that I did some really bad things.

[He'll start from the top, then.

He tells Rina everything, unsure exactly how long they sit there with him telling her the story of how he got to where he is now. He'd already told her about the black rocks- these strange entities that suddenly showed up out of nowhere and overwhelmed not just his village, but the rest of Corona along with it. He explains how things were getting worse and worse by the day, and that even though his father knew that they were in danger, he refused to bring it directly to the king. "I can handle it," he insisted, because he felt that these rocks- a connection to the moonstone, the opposite of the sundrop- were far too dangerous for those who didn't understand what they were to be involved in.

That's where Varian screwed up. He refused to stop investigating on his own, experimenting on the rocks to try to get a reaction. It was one fateful day when he accidentally overturned one of his solutions onto the rocks during an argument with his father that it backfired, creating an amber that grew uncontrollably, swallowing up everything in its path...including his father, who had rescued him at the last second. Varian had gone to the kingdom for help, only to be turned away by the Princess due to a blizzard.

When he came back, his father was completely entombed. It sent Varian into an anguish-fueled rage, completely hell-bent on enacting revenge on those who had wronged him and saving his father by whatever means necessary.

He tricked Rapunzel into helping him steal the Sundrop flower from her father's vault. And when that hadn't worked...he took it further. He led an assault on the kingdom, kidnapped the queen...threatened her life to get Rapunzel to come to him. He tried to use the magic in her hair to rescue his father, but that failed too. He was captured and taken to prison, the first motive he received...and he spent a year in the castle dungeon.

During his time there, he joined up with the Separatists of Saporia, a group of individuals seeking nothing more than to see the kingdom destroyed. He'd had a lot of time in prison to ruminate over his actions, and he knew that he couldn't do anything to make up for them. In a final act of desperation, he felt that the only way he could return to his normal life would be by wiping the memories of everyone in the kingdom, giving himself a fresh slate to start over with.

He was betrayed. The Saporians threw him in the dungeon with a previously captured Rapunzel, planning on igniting the gas Varian created to blow the entire kingdom apart. It was only thanks to Rapunzel's kind heart in forgiving Varian, as well as Eugene and Lance, that they were able to escape and circumvent disaster before it struck. Rapunzel in the end rescued his father using the moonstone's power- an incantation that destroys instead of heals. The kingdom mistrusted Varian for a very long time after that, seeing him as someone to be afraid of...which Rina probably knew all too well.

He skips a few parts, story that isn't his to tell. But he ends it off where he wishes he could have begun.]

...things turned out okay, in the end. My dad...he's alive, and I was able to find common ground with the people of Corona again. Rapunzel...she made me the kingdom's Royal Engineer. Everything I thought had happened was in my past...so everything I did to you, it- it was for nothing.

But that doesn't excuse the fact I did it to you to begin with. I understand if you feel differently about me now, and...and I'm not going to ask you to stay my friend if you don't want to. I'm just...

[He hangs his head, brushing a hand through his bangs.]

I wish I could take it all back, you know? You should be out there...living. I can deal with paying for what I've done. I've been trying to make up for it ever since the day I saw my dad stuck there...alone.

I'm sorry I took that away from you, Rina.

[ She listens, quietly and intently, to every single word he says. Her face, as always, doesn’t change so it’s a little hard to tell what she might be thinking. Still though she never once interrupts or interjects.

It’s only once he’s done and apologizing to her again that a change finally happens.

She starts to cry.

A quieter, softer cry but still there are tears and she quickly tries to wipe them away. ]

I… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I had no idea…

[ No idea at all.

She had no idea what he was going through. She thought it ended at the village but…

Now she gets it. Now she gets everything. ]

Rina...hey-

[Varian leans a little closer to her, his hands held up like...like he wants to reach out for her, but he's afraid to touch her directly. She'd been avoiding that specifically before...he doesn't want to invade her space if it's not yet wanted.]

It's okay! Really, I'm- everything's okay now...I mean it's...not entirely okay, but...as long as my dad is safe, I don't care what happened to me.

[He realizes that's probably even more upsetting to say, but...he doesn't want to be dishonest with her anymore, even if the truth hurts.]

P-please don't cry...

B-But it’s not okay…! That… that stupid Wizard made you forget that it was okay!!

[ She wipes her eyes a few more times before trying to look at him again. ]

He put you through so much pain by doing that! You were hurting and I had no idea about any of this beyond what you said about your village…!

[ It makes her feel so silly now. Even now that she has all her memories back she knows that her memories come nowhere close to being this traumatizing. The closest was how she’d been forcibly reverted back to her old self and that’s just not the same. She was here dreaming about dancing on a stage while he was reliving his father being trapped in amber. ]

I should have tried harder… I should have tried harder to make it safe for you to talk about this. I’m your friend and I failed you and now we’re both…!

[ But trying harder had been what got her killed in the first place. And she knows that. She knows she logically couldn’t have done more.

But that’s just what’s so frustrating. ]

I know...I know.

[And now they're both...

Fuck. Fuck, he's starting to cry now, too. He's trying to keep it held back, but the tremor is still there in his voice anyway. He can still remember it all. The trial, the shock and horror on everyone's faces, the utter chaos that erupted as they all tried to save him from death...

And then...]

It isn't fair! Neither of us should be here...none of us should be. Things should have b-been different...

[...]

The only good thing...is that I got to meet everyone. Farrah, Salieri, Discord, Maya, Spongebob, Elsa, everyone...

You. Th...that's all that's been worth any of it-!!

[ “You.”

She hears him say that and something just… sort of clicks. Her tears begin to dry up and she does one more wipe of her eyes. ]

…But you know? I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t take back that part. For anything.

[ She looks down at her hands. Maybe this is selfish of her to admit but… ]

Even though it’s all awful and we’re dead… and the Wizard fucking sucks… I don’t think I’d want to make it all go away. I don’t know… if I’d want to erase meeting everyone. Meeting you. Maybe it’s stupid and selfish but despite everything, I don’t regret that part.

[ And then she reaches out, reaches out for one of the hands she saw him raise earlier. For a moment when she touches it she finds herself holding her breath.

…And is relieved to find that all she feels is warmth.

A feeling of safety.

She pulls his hand to her and puts it against her cheek, leaning into it as she looks at him. ]

I don’t regret… telling you how I feel.

[They're definitely on the same page in that regard. Not wanting to erase having met everyone, at least. Those experiences...they're as much a part of Varian now as the things he went through back in his own world. They've changed him, even if he now understands his life wasn't exactly as he thought he'd remembered it.

But for Rina to tell him she doesn't regret meeting him..confessing after all of this, after he'd killed her?

He finally looks completely and utterly dumbfounded. He stares back at her like he doesn't understand, even though he can feel her take his hand and hold it gently against her cheek. It almost doesn't feel real.

His hand shifts, just slightly, his thumb smoothing over the curve of her cheek as he asks himself...why?

He doesn't deserve this. Not her forgiveness, or her friendship.]

You...don't?

[Least of all does he still deserve her love.]

[ She gently shakes her head. ]

I don’t.

[ And then, suddenly feeling a little sheepish she adds: ]

…Do you?

[ “Regret anything about being with me.” ]

[......]

I don't.

[It sounds simple, but the weight it carries is clear. He moves his hand a touch, letting his fingertips brush her bangs to one side.]

I could never regret something like that. My life has only been made better by having you in it.

...that includes what came after.

[ She closes her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.

She understands now what he was going through. She’s managed to work through and get rid of the initial fear she had of him. She’s not sure if she’s fully forgiven him for what happened but… does she need to? ]

These last few days I spent in my room… they were so lonely. I missed everyone else… but most of all I missed you.

[ She reopens her eyes and looks at him pleadingly. ]

Now I just… want to be held by my boyfriend.

[ She leaves the next part unspoken:

“Could you?” ]

[So for the purposes of this thread, and because Varian's basically made this car his baby working on it for the last two weeks of his life, I'm going to say it's a bench seat because it's old and crusty and it's what these two need right now, okay. It makes it less of a chore for Varian leaning over the way he is, even if he's still only just got his hand on her cheek.

She missed him. Even though she needed time alone, wanted to be alone...she still missed him.

It's as touching as it is sad, to know she was dealing with such conflicted emotions that whole time. Wanting to be alone on one hand, yet wanting to be with her boyfriend even though- at the time- she had absolutely been too scared to even look at him. His brows knit together when she asks to be held, and as a result he just...doesn't even think.

His hand shifts down from her face to rest gently at the back of her neck while his other reaches to loop around her side, his hand at the small of her back as he pulls her over from the driver's side into the passenger's. He draws her close to his chest, holding her so her head can rest against his collarbone while his chin sits atop her head, his other hand cradling the base of her skull with his fingers sifting through pink locks.

She's so warm. It's hard to believe she could even feel like this- warm, solid, alive- when they're both very much no longer living. They're dead, yet somehow still here...trapped in purgatory. But at least they're in purgatory together, he thinks as he takes a shuddering breath and wills himself not to start crying again. And as a minute, maybe two tick by, he just sits there with Rina in his arms, soaking in her presence and allowing that alone to be enough. But...it really isn't enough. There's something he regretted neglecting ever since he carried her body to that garden, having died knowing full well he'd never get the chance to otherwise.

Well. They're very dead now. There's no time like the present.

He draws back just enough so that Rina can look up at him, though he doesn't give much time for her to question why he's moved. He just takes her face in one hand again and leans down to kiss her, his lips gentle against her own. It's a little clumsy, but meaningful.

Nothing more, nothing less.]

[ She tries to get as close as possible when he pulls her in, practically climbing into his lap to be pressed against him. She can feel one of her shoes slip off in the driver’s side as she tries to readjust her legs but she doesn’t care. That doesn’t matter as much as it does to feel him, to have his arms around her.

She’s clinging to his shirt when he leans in to kiss her, her small hands tightening even more around the fabric. It catches her by surprise honestly, considering so far in this relationship she’d been the one making most of the first moves. But she welcomes it, pressing into it with a soft sound in her throat.

Sure it’s clumsy. But Varian’s clumsy and awkward. She doesn’t care - that’s just who he is. And she loves him just like that. ]

[It's strange. He thought he'd be a lot more nervous, doing this...which, make no mistake, he still is...but he's been through so much in the last few days (if days even count anymore when you're dead) that he's not sure he really cares enough to be embarrassed about things like this anymore. He's been kidnapped in a school prison for four weeks, a tenure that ended in him accidentally killing his girlfriend before being executed in front of a congregation of people he considered to be his family.

Things have kindof sucked.

And he thought he'd lost Rina forever too, both figuratively and literally...so this? This is his way of reclaiming what he thought he'd lost. Not just accepting Rina's acceptance of him- her desire to be with him again- but also making things a bit more official between them. He wished every second after her death that he'd done things differently, treated her differently, so now that they're here together in the afterlife...he isn't about to make that mistake again.

He draws back after a moment of this, a nervous laugh escaping him when the full gravity of what he'd just done finally has time to sink in.]

I, uh...hope that was okay.

[She didn't pull away from him and had actually returned it, so it seems like it was a success.

Doesn't mean he feels any less like his head is on fire from how flushed he's gotten, though.]

[ She keeps looking up at him after they part and just

Smiles

She actually smiles for the first time in days. ]

Mm. It was more than okay.

Though you surprised me a little.

Heh...I'd be more surprised if you weren't surprised.

[She's kissed his cheek before...and he's kissed hers, though he honestly doesn't know how much of that moment she cares to remember. He needed to replace it with something...nicer.

That smile makes it all worth it in the end, regardless of how nervous or awkward he feels after the fact. He doesn't regret it one bit.]

I kept wishing I'd done that before, so...

Mm. It took you a long time. I was getting a little tired of waiting.

[ She wasn't really but ehhhhh she's allowed some teasing she thinks.

She nuzzles closer and rests her head on him again. ]

But I'm glad... that you did.

[Varian legitimately doesn't know if she's kidding or not, but either way that's enough to mae his heart skip a beat. And when Rina curls up closer to him, he'll shift his hands so they're holding onto her more comfortably, keeping her close to his chest.]

Yeah...me too.

[He missed this. Missed her.]

...do...do you want to stay out here a while?

[ She nods, burying her face in his shirt. ]

Yes… please…

[ She feels her own face getting warmer, prompting her to look back up at him with bright hazel eyes. ]

Would you… mind? [ And suddenly Kanata’s words are coming to her: ] Indulging this “selfish princess”… for just a bit longer…?

[Oh no.

Oh no. God, he really doesn't feel like he deserves this. Not even a little. But...it's okay to just say "fuck it", right? They're both dead...it's not like they have room for regrets anymore.

So Varian shakes his head a little as he carefully detatches one of his hands again, mostly to free it so he can cradle the side of Rina's cheek, tracing her cheekbone with his thumb.]

I don't mind at all. It's not like I'm going anywhere...not for a while, anyway.

[Or...for forever, really.

Needless to say, Rina's getting pulled in for another kiss...one that's a bit less short than the last. The first wasn't hesitant, exactly, but it didn't linger. This one does.]

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SPOILERS FOR...UH. BASICALLY ALL OF TANGLED

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