and I know things now, many valuable things

[stagemanagers]

[You remember dying. Maybe the memory is clear and bright and your body still aches from the cause. Maybe it was fast enough that you didn't feel it and don't remember what you went through. But no matter how you went out you're still trapped here.

When you open your eyes it might take you a minute to recognize your surroundings. It's your dressing room, that much is certain, but nothing is where you remember it. It's like everything has been picked up and moved to the other side of the room. The entire room has been perfectly mirrored from what it used to be and, upon leaving, it seems the rest of the opera house is just the same. If you remember one room being in the east wing, it's now in the west. If it was in the west, it's now in the east.

Welcome back to the Opera House, friends, you're not out of the woods yet.]





[ooc: Welcome to deadland, darlings! It's a perfectly mirrored version of the Opera House and each week, as new people die after new floors have been revealed, the stairwell doors will unlock and allow you to reach them. For example, week 3 victims will unlock floor 2 and so on and so forth. Also, all dead characters will wake up at their actual canon point.

Have fun because we have some fun things planned for you.]

Comments

[robitussin]

[The 'you're here' was reflexive upon seeing someone new; once she registers who it is, she freezes, her expression growing from somber to downright cold. She stares at D-ne for a few moments, trying to decide on what to say. She's angry, and hurt, and bitter—]

Well, I didn't think this was hell, but maybe I was wrong.

[Instead of particularly biting or hateful, it just comes out... tired.]

[lifegoalsorwifegoals]

[Did she expect anything else? No, not really, but with Valjean and Hime and everyone besides Javert being so, she thought, maybe, with enough time--

How stupid. Hime's rubbed off on her.

D-ne's smile doesn't have as much vigor as it used to, but she puts it on nevertheless.] I wouldn't go that far. After all, the kind souls are, ah, here too. I would say limbo, or something like it. [Straight into information mode. The smile wavers, flickers-] Who... I never wanted to see you here.

[robitussin]

[She wants to say something else cutting - I didn't want to see you, either - but since waking up here, it feels like something has changed. The tight ball of anger she carries inside has always there to protect her from harm, but now... How could anything worse happen to her than what already has?

Now she just feels empty and tired.]

I didn't really want to be here, either.

[She hates the tiny, uncontrollable shake in her voice as she says that.]

I don't know who it was.

[lifegoalsorwifegoals]

[In contrast, she feels a wave of flickering rage. It makes the smile impossible to keep up, and such a dark expression passes over her face. Her jaw tightens, and though she has no right, she's furious.]

If you didn't see...that's okay. They always figure it out. That- that person will be here soon and I'll--

[I tried to kill you too. What comfort would this bring?]

...and you can give them a piece of your mind.

[robitussin]

[A slow shake of her head.]

...No. They won't. I don't know who it was, but it was a member of the crew. They're not going to do anything to them.

[There's a certain flatness, a disappointment to that. Truth be told, it's not like she wanted any of the culprits to be killed, but... She'll never know who it was. More than likely, nobody will. It stings.]

[lifegoalsorwifegoals]

[Even worse, that. Her eyes eyes go wide.]

One of the-- I'll-- [Silly, "kill them?" Ugh. D-ne looks openly disgusted, like she forgets to even attempt her mask.] Those utter cowards. I wish...

[That got her into this mess. She stops.]

I'm sorry.

[robitussin]

...Why are you apologizing?

[lifegoalsorwifegoals]

What do you think? Because had I not started this, there's a chance you would still be alive.

[robitussin]

[She pauses for a moment, before shaking her head sharply.]

If it wasn't you it would have been someone else, okay, or they would have just killed us all because apparently they have no problem with fucking shooting people who haven't even broken a rule. Okay? So just - stop.

[Blaming anyone won't change what happened or fix anything, and she really does believe that someone would have gone for it if D-ne didn't. Even if she's not angry, she's upset and still anxious, and she can't stop her voice from rising a bit.]

[lifegoalsorwifegoals]

[The stress in her voice, the sudden moves, everything. D-ne really can't figure out anything to say, hands at her chest.]

...It's started already, then. Management's interfering...in even this now. [She glances away.] Then... If I can do anything...to help you here, even stay far away, I'll do it.

[robitussin]

I don't know. I thought that - I really trusted you, you know? I thought...

[She doesn't know what would help her. She just feels empty and hopeless and melancholy. She pauses for a moment. Maybe there's no point in talking about this, but... Maybe she just wants to stop thinking about it, turning it over and over in her mind until she feels sick. Something begins.]

'Til the moment I came here
I thought I knew what life was
I guess I learned, though, what is true
That life just... does what it does
The world finds ways to sting me
Just when I thought that it might bring me

Something to believe in
But just for a night
It couldn't last much longer
I thought it might...
I thought you might
And when you were gone the next day
I thought, god, now I see
Stupid to have let somebody
Start to mean something to me

[She pauses to sigh, to breathe, to run a hand over her face. Keep going.]

None of us were meant to meet
But then we met - god knows why
All these strangers in the halls
All these faces passing by
I start to think that maybe
This time, I'll trust, and then they gave me

Something to believe in
But just for a day
One day may be forever
I thought that it would be okay
And when I was gone the next day
Was it really because of me?
I had something to believe in...
They shouldn't have believed in me.

[lifegoalsorwifegoals]

[She realizes, she hadn't heard Natalie sing before. Even during the trial, she hadn't sung a response back. She hadn't opened that part of her up, and now, it feels almost wrong to hear it.

Especially, she continues, to hear this. She can't help herself, then, from jumping in.]

Finding something to believe in?
You're amazing, can't you see?

[Singing this seems to hard.]

If I'd been brave like you. [She bites her lip.] If I'd just remembered what I do now.

I threw away my chance, my- everything. But you, even though- this place did all it did- you strove, didn't you? I missed so much of... [She shakes her head.] Natalie-san, if they believed in you, it's because connecting...and feeling trust for them is an amazing thing, despite the fear.

...And if they believed in you, they'll fight for you...I think.

[robitussin]

No, you don't - you don't fucking get it! I'm not brave, I'm not anything.

[Her voice cracks, a hand coming up to her mouth from a moment.]

You know, people here told me, you're smart, everyone trusts you. But nothing I ever fucking tried to do to keep anyone alive worked, and all I did was treat most of them like shit until last week, and now... If I had just fucking calmed down and stopped talking for one minute, the crew wouldn't have thought I was going to break a rule, they wouldn't have... Fuck.

[lifegoalsorwifegoals]

[How is this happening...? D-ne takes a step forward, and she's speaking forcefully, not stammering or stuttering one bit. How strange.]

Everyone saw what you couldn't about yourself, and that includes me. Everyone saw you were important- they saw you were important, Natalie-san- tell me about this last week, about how you're the only one to show up here. About how before you, it was a psychopathic alter-ego and not the actual sweet girl who struck. Did the crew kill you because you did something wrong, or did they kill you because it was the only way to get a murder out? Which do you think is more likely?

[robitussin]

That doesn't...

[She pauses, frowns.]

That doesn't make sense. If they were doing it for a trial and not because of a rule, that's - there's no right answer there, there's no way to vote.

[lifegoalsorwifegoals]

I think...it should be obvious that they don't care about what's fair. They care about a "good show." And if there was no murder, according to them, it's not a "good show." They want a tragedy. [She...smiles, for a moment.] But you didn't want to give them that. I think...maybe more than anyone here, even knowing what would happen, you kept going. That's the most terrifying thing the writer of a tragedy can go up against.

[robitussin]

...Not more than anyone else. I mean, I don't - I'm not strong. I didn't have a choice. The last thing I said was that I was scared.

[lifegoalsorwifegoals]

You did have a choice. You could have killed to try and get out...or completely closed up. It doesn't matter that you were scared. ...The most amazing people get scared. You stayed amazing.

[robitussin]

That's not... Just existing without hurting anyone isn't enough in a place like this.

[When she was younger, she used to dream that one day she would do something important, something good enough that it would make her... Well, worthwhile. Then people would see her. Then others would care. Now they do, but there's a strange guilt in not fulfilling what she sees as the 'something important' part of that dream. She doesn't feel as though she earned their caring or trust, especially after this.]

I should have been - better, I don't know.

[lifegoalsorwifegoals]

You should have been perfect?

[robitussin]

[Yes.]

No, just... I don't know.

[lifegoalsorwifegoals]

[She sighs.] In stories like these...just fighting against what everyone else expects from you is a victory. Trust- well, I can't really ask that but... ah, don't be so hard on yourself.

[robitussin]

This isn't a story. There's no winning in this situation, not anymore.

[lifegoalsorwifegoals]

...never say never. I thought... When limbo's involved, it's always more complicated than it appears.

[robitussin]

...Even if the rest of them live and get out of here, we didn't win.